Animals at the Brandywine Zoo announced the formation of the Delaware First Zoo Workers Collective on Monday, citing better living conditions than many Wilmington residents and demanding the city do something about it.
"Look at our enclosures," transmitted the capybaras through their spokesperson (a sympathetic zookeeper who agreed to translate). "Climate control. Running water. Regular meals. Free healthcare. Meanwhile, humans in Trolley Square are paying $1,800 for a studio with no AC and a landlord who won't fix the hot water."
The union, which represents approximately 87 animals, is demanding that their habitat quality not exceed that of the average Wilmington renter. "It's unseemly," continued the capybara coalition. "We have better amenities than a $2,000/month apartment. This isn't right."
Human residents have reluctantly admitted the animals have a point. "The otters have river access and dedicated community space," noted Trolley Square renter David Harrison. "I have a folding chair and street parking I have to fight for every night. Maybe I should move to the zoo."
Zoo director Patricia Moore said she "understands the animals' concerns" but noted that "unionizing is complicated when your members can't technically sign documents." Legal experts are divided on whether animals can form a labor organization, with one lawyer noting: "This is Delaware. Weirder things have been incorporated here."
The animals have threatened to strike by "being less cute" and "refusing to do anything interesting when people visit," tactics which observers note might actually be more devastating than it sounds given the zoo's reliance on charm-based revenue.
As of press time, the river otters were demanding their own section in the NextDoor group and the red pandas were asking why they had to live in Delaware at all when they could "clearly do better."